I Want To Homeschool, But…My Husband Thinks I’m Crazy!
We’re kicking off a new series here at Vintage Kids | Modern World for those of you just wondering about homeschooling! Maybe you’re wondering if it’s right for you? There are a lot of factors that go into the decision to homeschool, and we want to give you some information to make that decision a little easier! We have an amazing team of guest bloggers that will be popping in now and then to give you their unique perspectives and to answer some of your most curious and pressing questions about that weird sub-culture that homeschools their children…
Today, I am so excited to have Kristina from The Provision Room, join us here on VK|MW to share her homeschooling journey.
I want to homeschool, but…my husband thinks I’m crazy!
I really have to laugh at that statement now. You see I walked that journey with my husband. I lived it. It was one of only two times in our marriage that we have been on completely separate pages.
This is how it went.
I said, “I think we should homeschool.”
He said, “No. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
And so we entered a six-month period of what I like to call “intense fellowship.”
I’m not one to give up easily, I’m persistent if you will, but I really dislike conflict and this was a serious one. At first I thought I would be able to sway him quickly. I shared my ideas and all the reasons I thought homeschooling would be best for our children. He looked at me like an alien had just taken over my body and wouldn’t budge. In fact every time I brought it up our mature discussion quickly dissolved into a heated argument and I inevitably ended up crying. It was miserable.
I eventually stopped bringing it up regularly. Instead whenever I wanted to talk about it, I would pray and pour out my heart to the Lord. I knew He was listening. In the mean time I tired various tactics. I suggested we each develop a pros and cons list then schedule a time to talk about them. Of course, my pros list was longer and his cons list was longer. We reached another impasse. There was giant elephant in the room and neither one of us wanted to talk about it because it was hurting our relationship. I kept praying. I had my friends pray.
My next bright idea was to have other homeschooling families over to talk about their experiences. I made sure my husband had opportunities to talk to the dads. That way he could ask questions like… “Will my daughters suddenly become socially inept? Will my wife become so consumed with schooling our children that she forgets she is married? My wife isn’t a great task finisher. Have you seen her sewing projects? If she suddenly loses interest in homeschooling what will we do? Will our house fall apart?” These were all reasonable questions and ones that I had no answer for. We couldn’t see into the future.
In the end I learned my husband’s biggest concerns revolved around whether it would be too much pressure for me and whether or not we could really educate the girls well. I told him I thought we could do a better job of educating the girls than the public school they were in, but I had no answer for how all of this was going to affect me.
We would have to trust the Lord. We decided we would try it for one year and then reevaluate.
Our first year was amazing! Of course we made mistakes but it was still good. God was faithful. The girls thrived. My stress levels actually went down. I discovered I loved being at home and my husband discovered he liked having us all there.
It’s been four years now. For me one of the most satisfying things is to hear my husband now talk about homeschooling so positively. We both believe in it now. We know it is the right choice for our family.
If you are in the same boat that I was in four years ago, I would encourage you to give your husband a little space. Understand that he only wants the best for you and your children. Talk to him, but don’t nag him. And the most important thing you can do is pray, pray, pray! And in the end, no matter what his decision is, lovingly submit to his choice. Your marriage comes first, your children come second and following God’s principles will safeguard your entire family. He is a good God that can be trusted, no matter what your family decides!
I’m wife to my wonderful husband of 19 years and mom to two daughters who teach me a lot! I’m the co-founder of The Provision Room. I love, seriously love, Jesus, food, books, sipping hot cups of tea, and gardening. Oh, and did I mention aprons?! We started homeschooling our daughters in 2009. At that time our older daughter was entering 3rd grade and our younger daughter was entering 1st.